Day 14 –

Last night went pretty well! I am pretty sure lil’ man slept from 10:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. It could be that I slept through the 1:00 a.m. touch-up (or maybe I just don’t remember doing it) but that is a pretty good run. At 3:00 a.m. he required a bit of food. At 6:00 a.m. he ate nine ounces – three ounces more than normal. Mom called and let me know her flight was cancelled and she will now be getting home after dinnertime tonight. Not a big deal except that the entire day of care again falls on my shoulders and (when she gets home) we will not have much alone time before the workweek starts again. My older brother plans to visit today and I may see if my parents would like to visit around noon – they had planned on making us dinner tonight. More coffee, more coffee, more coffee.

There is light at the end of this marathon, baby watching session…or is there. Mom was scheduled to come home at noontime; her flight was canceled. Fortunately, she was able to get a later flight on the same day. This change was devastating to me. I had planned on having her home and getting some down time and then dinner with my parents. The flight change set the stage for a rushed pickup and quick goodnight. My stress levels went through the roof. My parents came (instead) for a light lunch and to let grandpa J. have some time with lil’ man. My stresses were evident to my parents as I drank more coffee at lunchtime. They knew well, I was due for a break. They left and we readied ourselves to pick up mom at the airport. We met her at the gate, mom with tears in her eyes. She had missed him / us very much and so had we. We came home and mom spent some time reacquainting with our son; it was wonderful to watch. Mom revealed some wonderful birthday gifts she picked up for me – white golf pants and golf shoes –maybe I can finally win a round! Off to bed now for all of us, it was 9:00 p.m.

Day 13

Today is my birthday. The first present of the day was a midnight wakeup call from lil’ man. I tended to him and he went back to sleep. At 1:30 a.m., he woke again. This time, I decided I would not address him. I waited and he did calm himself back to sleep after about 30 minutes; we may be getting somewhere with the no-sleep nights. This would be the best present ever! He woke at 3:00 a.m. and required food but he went back to sleep, without issue. I woke at 5:45 a.m. – I had slept in! At 6:00 a.m. he was ready for another meal. He went back to sleep, after a bit of babbling. My mom is coming today and bringing a birthday breakfast. I am looking forward to the visit and possibly a chance to have a few minutes of alone time, with her keeping watch.

My mother came over for the 9:00 a.m. feeding and asked if she could have the honor of performing the feeding. I happily obliged. She brought several birthday goodies for me to enjoy: a very nice card, brownies, a favorite breakfast item and, most importantly – a replacement Danish for the one previously consumed by the dog. It is shaping up to be a nice day. She offered to watch lil’ man so I could go do some quick shopping. After a quick trip to the store, my nerves were frayed from the anxiety of our son being left alone. He was, of course, just fine. As a matter of fact, he had not made a sound and my mother did not have to do anything. She stayed on for the noon feeding and again performed the duty. With her being there, it opened up the opportunity for me to do some more work on a deck railing project that needed to be completed; plus it gave me a bit of time for a birthday beer! She left after he went back down to sleep. It is worth noting, early on in our conversations, she mentioned how much harder this must be for me than it was for her. My first child came when I was already twice her age of when she had her first. She is right. Although I am youthful for my age, it is a challenge to find the energy each day. One look at our son though and it really does not matter; he is worth it. The evening feedings went well. Lil’ man was tired from grandma’s visit. At the 9:00 p.m. feeding he lay awake for about a half-hour, releasing farts that sounded like those from a grown man.

Day 12 -

I have been awakened, every ½ hour, since 12:30 a.m. this morning. It was so bad that our trusty, opportunistic, bed-hog dogs resigned to the fact that not even they would find comfort lying in our big bed. I am unsure of the reasons for the discomfort but at 3:45 a.m. I finally decided to give up; lil’ man will have to cry it out. And he did, for another one hour and fifteen minutes. I got up at the regular 5:00 a.m. spot and replaced the Binky; all calm was again restored. The 6:00 a.m. feeding was a passively eaten meal – he had been fed, changed and re-Binky’d all through the night. It is my guess that he is missing mom’s gentle touch; she normally carries out the evening touch-ups. Now it is time for a large pot of coffee.

Mom called early this morning and we spoke about how things were going, on both ends. Her family was grieving but they were receiving a lot of support from friends. She was already exhausted, with the funeral still to come today. She asked about our son and I lied, everything was going great…no problems. I did not want to worry her about anything past what she was already dealing with in her family. As expected, our lil’ man was tired for the 9:00 a.m. feeding; he went back to sleep almost immediately. At the noon feeding, I noticed what I interpreted as physical anxiety. Lil’ man repeatedly swung his arms up and down, hitting his legs and face. I suspected he is beginning to have enough strength to begin some physical play and is frustrated with simply laying and being held. I lay him on our bed, tummy side, and waited for the results. He has already shown he can roll over but that is the greatest accomplishment to-date. He lay there, crying, without attempting to roll over. Maybe my guess was wrong. I picked him up and back to bed he went. At the 3:00 feeding, I woke him and was greeted with a great smile; something good had happened. I held him in my lap, by the waist and noticed he was leaning backwards, beyond the support of my hands. Normally, he would be stuck in this position but Lil’ man righted himself and continued on exploring the room with his eyes – he was exercising his back! He remained calm through the moment and I lay him back down for rest. This is my cue to continue with the physical aspects of rearing and growth. The rest of the day expired in relative calm. Things had gone so well, I had forgotten about my sleepless night and stayed up a little later than normal to catch a television show. I was in bed by 10:00 p.m.

Day 11 –

Last night was brutal. At 1:30 I woke up to find little man waving his arms in an inconsolable fit. I changed the diaper, I think I fed him (I truly cannot remember) and redid the swaddle and placed him back down. At 3:00 a.m., he awoke again and needed more tending. At 3:30 a.m. he had worked himself up again and eventually ate a full meal. At 5:00 a.m., he was back at it so I again tended to him. The 6:00 a.m. feeding revealed the likely source of the earlier discomforts lil’ man was experiencing; he had completely soiled his diaper. I am beginning to see that the difficulty of a newborn is not really their 3-hours schedule. The problem is for the parents who are trained on a 4-hour schedule and who’s ramp-up / comedown time is longer, making naps and regular sleep nearly impossible. By 6:30 a.m. and a ½ pot of coffee later, I feel as though I can barely recall my own name.

This morning we headed out again for a little more shopping. At each store, we met with more admirers and friendly faces; our trip went well. We got home and the regular feedings were administered, without much issue. I recall reading somewhere that there is a theory that children can see ghosts, saying that they have not yet dismissed them and they can see what adults can no longer see or acknowledge. Having had one ghostly experience in my lifetime, I have had interest in this topic. After the noon feeding and putting back down, our son began staring, wide-eyed and panicked at something just over my shoulder. Seeing his expression told me that something was not right with the room and I began to think maybe it was one of our ghostly friends. While still singing to him, I waved my hand over my shoulder, pushing away whatever was there that was disturbing to him. He smiled, broadly and immediately snuggled in for his nap. Maybe there is something to the theory.

Day 10 –

At 1:00 a.m. I was awaken by a loud cry; lil’ man was hungry. Mom had coached me on this routine, but in my half-awake stupor, I forgot to actually feed him. At 1:45, I was awaked again by another round of loud cries. This time I remembered the a.m. routine – he needed food. A 45-minute feeding put me back into bed around 3:00 a.m. Normally I wake up at 5:00 a.m. and begin preparing for the day. On the day that we had an early flight to catch, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. We rushed to get things together and focused on catching the plane. Mom fed our son, while we drove, and we managed to make it in time for the flight. A quick kiss goodbye (I was still in pajamas) and mom was off to see her family. Lil’ man went back to sleep at home and stayed still until the next feeding.

The rush of the morning left Lil’ Man groggy. We went back home and he slept solidly until the 9:00 a.m. feeding. Afterwards, I took him back to the hardware store for supplies needed to improve our house’s readiness for the coming toddler. At the store, he was very patient and even engaged a few of the employees; smiles and bashfulness abounded and we finished our trip in calm. Back at home, I began (and completed) the childproofing project, with our son sitting in his car seat and supervising my work. The next project was cleaning up the mess and then cleaning our muddy floors, from all of the recent rain and snow we have had. The noon feeding went well and-so did the following play time. This was beginning to look easy. I received several phone calls, from concerned grandparents and friends who were checking up on our progress. I also heard from Mom and found that her travel was unimpeded. Things were going well. After the 3:00 p.m. feeding, I placed him is his rocker chair and attached the light bar that was included with the chair. Up to this point, he had never expressed interest in it but that changed today. After a solid hour of flashing lights, music and reaching for the hanging toys I put lil’ man back down. I grabbed a bachelor’s late lunch / early dinner (pizza and a beer) and readied for the 6:00 p.m. and then the 9:00 p.m. feeding. I was tired but things were working out. I went to bed at 10:00 p.m.

Day nine –

At 1:30 a.m. I rushed to the side of a very uncomfortable baby boy. He was hungry, wet and letting the world know something shall be done about it. I performed a quick change, replaced him in his rocker-chair and then fed him. This feeding while in the chair routine worked so well yesterday that I have carried on with it. It seems to work quite well. He went immediately back to sleep. Mom got up for a Binky check-and-replace at 4:00 a.m. He was awakened by mom at 6:00 a.m. for the feeding, Binky still in-place, and went right back to sleep.

Mom went back to work, as we waited to hear back from the family with funeral arrangements. After the morning feeding, we headed out to find shoes for mom’s trip and then on to visit with Grandma C. Shopping with a newborn is a challenge unto itself. We found a convenience shopping center and tried several stores for some appropriate winter formal wear for mom. As we perused the women’s shoe isles we were met with many strange looks by mothers with children of their own; I was happy to finish this adventure with a good pair of shoes for mom. We headed on to visit with grandma. We got to the grandparent’s house right at the noon feeding time. Lil’ man was restless and started to through a fit. Grandma C took to feeding him and eventually calmed him down. Exhausted, I explained to her what had happened and what the laid-out plans were – I will be managing our son for the next five days, solo. Wrap my birthday into that package and it makes for a long stretch of lonely father-infant/son time. Grandma offered to help, where needed, and even offered to let us stay with them for a few days. I declined but definitely have it as a backup option. She loaded us down with leftover food and we headed home for the 3:00 p.m. feeding, which went well. Lil’ man quickly slept and only woke for the 6:00 p.m. feeding, which mom had made it home for, just in time. Immediately after his feeding, he slept. The day’s adventure had worn him out. Mom and I talked about the trip for the funeral. She will be leaving early tomorrow and returning mid-day Sunday. By 8:00, I was exhausted. I went to bed and did not wake.

Day eight –

I have practically been awake since 1:00 a.m. Our son wrestled through the night, needing several checks and diaper changes. At 5:00 a.m. I heard a sound coming from the baby room that can only be compared to a garbage disposal waiting for refuse to consume – lil’ man was hungry. Despite a valiant half-hour of pacifying and singing, he refused to sleep. I grabbed a milk bottle and fed him where he lay. He then went back to sleep. The 6:00 a.m. feeding came quickly and I am already trying to decide how to get in a nap for the day.

After mom performed the 6:00 a.m. feeding, I lay back down in the bed. It was my plan to get the needed nap in, before the 9:00 a.m. feeding came due. As I tossed and turned, it looked like sleep was not going to happen right now. Then, a phone call came in. I missed it but got up to see what it was about. It was my wife; her grandfather had passed away. She was distraught and confused. I instructed her to call her boss and return home for the day, to collect her thoughts and to work through the emotions. She returned home. I made a few calls to her family members and expressed our sympathy – he will be missed. I called Oma Mamu and asked if she would like to come over for breakfast and to have someone to be with at this time. She also came to the house. Mother and daughter, reunited this day under sad circumstance, talked fondly of him as I made a light breakfast. The early feedings were handled by myself; the later ones by mom. I thought it would help her to take her mind off of things and it did help to calm her nerves. Oma Mamu had been planning on returning (already) this weekend to her summer home, which is in the same town as the extended family. She decided to leave a few days early to be with the family. Mom also began making plans to fly up for the weekend and pay her respects. This will leave my by myself, with lil’ man, for a few days…a daunting task, but a necessary one for our family. We all went out for a goodbye dinner and our lil’ man sat contented in his car seat, through the entire meal. It was a sad day and lil’ man seemed to know that this would not a day to give any grief to us; today we especially appreciated it.

Day seven –

It is possible that our son has finally slept through the night! A disoriented mom was addressing a fussy boy at 5:00 a.m. (I rescued her from the confusion) but that was the only wake-up call that I am aware of…there is hope for full-nights of sleep yet. Today is spring-forward – we are losing an hour of sleep. I suspect this will work to our advantage; Lil’ man has consistently been waking up a half hour early for feedings.

Although our son did sleep deeper into the night, he still awoke for the 1:00 a.m. Binky check. Early in the morning, I learned that my wife’s grandfather was growing increasingly weak and was expected to pass on soon – this will be an emotional kind of day. I managed the 6:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m. and 12:00 a.m. feedings and felt emotionless, as a zombie must, through each of the events. Mom took over the 9:00 a.m. playtime, getting a chance to enjoy our developing son. Mom left the house for necessaries around 11:00 a.m. After the 12:00 a.m. feeding, we had our tummy time. He is doing quite well rolling over and holding his head up, while on his belly. Mom helped him to practice some crawling and went off to prepare a quick lunch. Just before lunch was ready, our lil’ man lay down to sleep, without giving us much fuss. Dad was already done; a nap was absolutely necessary. I took to bed like a bee to a flower. I slept for two hours. By 5:00 p.m., there was a lot of fuss coming from the baby room. Our son was not happy with his day. Several rounds of singing left both mom and dad tired; we were becoming defeated. The 9:00 p.m. feeding went well and lil’ man lay down to sleep, without any fuss – he was finally tired. Mom made baby food for the next day and I (dad) was grateful for the advance preparations.

Day six –

This is the first weekend in this adventure. I am not sure if I get the weekend off or if I am going to be on-call, or if I simply carry on with our routine. So far, mom took care of a 1:30 a.m. Binky check and I handled a 4:00 a.m. fit and diaper change. At 7:00 a.m., our son has not awaked for his regular (6:00 a.m.) feeding and I am planning to see how long we can make it! We do have another party tonight, sadly, a going away party for Oma Mamu. She will soon be returning to her summer home and she will be missed.

Mom woke up around 7:30 as lil’ man began stirring. He did make it a bit longer than expected but now he was hungry. She took over the feeding and I set to task on a looming yard project that needed to be completed before we receive our spring showers; a small lake of water has been collecting at our front doorway and needed to be redirected. My day, today, consisted of digging up sticky, wet Caliche soil and laying down a drainpipe of 50+ feet; it was agonizingly physically demanding work. The job was finished around 3:00 p.m. Mom had not had much trouble with our son through the day and we began preparing for tonight’s going away party tonight. Our plan was to go to the party early, feed lil’ man and put him down to sleep, so-as not to take away from the purpose of the event, sending Oma Mamu off with style. So, off to grandma and grandpa’s house we went. Once there, we fed our son and there was some admiring by friends who were arriving to the party. He was laid down in a crib and nary a peep was heard until we gathered to leave at about 9:00 p.m. Before leaving, my father asked to see the baby – he had not been able to sneak away from the party to visit with him. Grandpa came into the room as lil’ man was waking up and I was quite proud to see him beaming with pride as he picked up his grandson. Watching him, I noticed some sense of his want to parade lil’ man around to his friends and so I suggested he do so. After giving him a few moments alone, with his friends and grandson, we entered the other room and found him smiling and bragging (already) about his new grandchild. It was a truly great feeling for me to see him enjoy that moment. We left the party, in a flash of smiles of goodbye hugs and kisses bestowed on our son. We got home, without incident, and performed the regular feeding (albeit delayed). Lil’ man went down to sleep and we were finished for the day. It was 10:30 p.m.