Day 18

I woke at 1:00 a.m. to a needy baby. A quick pacifier replacement solved the crying until 1:30 a.m., when a re-swaddle was needed. I woke again at 3:00 to a hungry baby. I fed him, a session lasting almost 45 minutes. I was whipped. I managed to get a few minutes of sleep but woke up again for my usual 5:00 a.m. coffee making rounds. Mom got up shortly after; we talked a bit but I was not feeling like conversation. She left for work and things progressed as normal.

At the (new modified time schedule) 10:00 a.m. feeding, lil’ man actually held the bottle for a short time; he is beginning to make coordinated hand movements! Afterwards, I made a call to some elderly old neighbors we had not seen in a while. They were up for a visit and lil’ man and I headed out to see them all. First stop was to Ms. Barbara – my old landlady. She only had a few minutes but she enjoyed seeing him, only the second time since he was born. We parted ways and I headed down the alley to see if some other old friends were around; they happened to be in their yard. We approached and found they were doing considerable landscape work, but we were invited in immediately. The lady of the house asked to hold lil’ man right away, whisked him off to a sitting area and sat overseeing the yard. I caught up with the man of the house a bit and, as usual, he imparted a bit of senior advice to me on several topics of interest. Their yard is comparable to a botanical garden and I used to visit it frequently with my puppy. We would chat and let the dogs all play together. I was an old fixture in that neighborhood and I had apparently been missed. We were extended a future invitation to visit at-will and then we headed out to see if an old librarian, in that area, was at work – Esther, an Irish librarian who had helped me through some difficult times. She was not there that day but we were invited back to story-time for children on Wednesday’s.  Exhausted, we headed home and I put lil’ man down, after a quick snack. I fell asleep. I am not sure when exactly when I lost consciousness but I awoke at 5:00 p.m. to a happy, contented baby boy who was simply looking about the room in comfort. Mom had texted she was on her way home from work. As a belated birthday gift, she offered to take us all out to a local Mexican ‘Seafood Shack’, where a mariachi band played on Thursdays. We arrived a ½ hour before the band began to play and enjoyed our meals. The band began to play and mom and I both watched in excitement as our lil’ man was introduced to (classic Mexican) live music. He watched in awe, although he occasionally gave me a look that said he was not too impressed or happy that he was still awake – it was past his usual naptime and the daily routine had been completely altered. We stayed for a few songs and then headed home. Mom addressed lil’ man’s needs and then mom and I had a few moments on the couch of together time. She said that this was the first day, since she had returned from her travels, that I was near normal. She was right, I had been exhausted by the continuous baby care, missed birthday due to the death of a family member and the absence of my wife. Today, after the nap, I was finally getting back to feeling some recovery and a little more like my self. I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. Mom followed quickly after.

Day 17

Lil’ man slept from 9:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. It appears the 1:00 a.m. touch-up is no longer necessary…again. Yay!!! Mom pushed me out of bed to feed at 3:00 a.m. and I really could not go back to sleep. We are trying to extend the 6:00 a.m. feeding to 7:00 a.m. today so mom can spend a little more quality time with him, before she leaves for work. So far, it is working out.

Today was a rest and recovery day. I simply performed the functions needed, at the required times. I was zombified. I gave no thought to advanced teaching and simply made sure our lil’ man was provided for. I went to bed at 7:30.

Day 16

I only know that he woke at 3:00 a.m. Mom pleaded with me to perform the service but I was incoherent; she would have to handle this round. I will make it up to her later. Dad needed to catch back up on some sleep. At 6:00 a.m., mom was still groggy from the early a.m. feeding and-so I handled this round. Mom slept. He ate a little but then was ready to go back to sleep. When I swaddled him he did not fuss, wrestle or complain – lil’ man was ready to get back to sleep. Dad made coffee and let his family enjoy a little quite time.

Today we started practicing sign language. He is still too young to control his arms and hands but it looks like he is picking up the idea. For the 9:00 a.m. feeding, I signed ‘milk’ and ‘more’, along with a few other signs I have already forgotten. He appeared to sign back, although in broad stokes and waving arms. It will still be a little bit before he is really ready to use it. We headed out around 11:00 to visit Grandma C. I dressed him up in overalls that were green; it is St. Patrick’s day. Grandma C welcomed him and set to feeding him right away. Lil’ man’s attention was taken away by the small dogs at my parent’s house. He gazed at them, fascinated by their small size and activities. He reluctantly ate his meal and then went back to starring at the ceiling fan. My mom and I joked that maybe he will design a better fan or possible be a pilot one-day, due to the amount of time he spends looking at the fans. We concluded our visit with Grandma C getting a round of big smiles from him by picking up his feet and dropping them repeatedly. We were a little later than expected in getting home so I let him sleep until 4:00 p.m. A quick feeding (which included a sneeze from me, causing the bottle to smack him in the face and a round of solid cries) and it was time for crib time. I lay him down and he entertained himself until about 5:30 p.m. By that time, he was fussing and looking around in desperation. A quick look from him told me he wanted to be swaddled and tucked in to bed. I picked him up and performed the routine. He fell asleep immediately. He stayed that way until 7:00 p.m. and mom took over from that point forward. I went to bed at 8:00 p.m.

Day 15 –

Lil’ man woke at 3:00 a.m. and mom handled the feeding. As expected he woke also for the 6:00 a.m. feeding. Again, mom took charge. Dad is relieved. Mom spent some time with our son, past the normal ‘back to sleep’ schedule and it was wonderful to see everyone back together again.

Today was car repair day. Our family car made a strange noise this morning and it had also been prompting us for scheduled maintenance. Although sitting with our lil’ man while waiting for services to be performed on the vehicle did not exactly sound like a winning idea, we headed out for repairs. Fortunately, the repair shop had a “children’s” room where we could sit quietly. I warned the service specialist that we had three hours before a meltdown would occur. It took exactly three hours. The first hour I fed lil’ man, the next hour I sang “Rock-a-bye baby” to him and the last hour he slept. At the three hour mark, he began to stir, the car was reported to be finished and we rushed out of there to the tune of ‘waaahhhhh’. We just made it, without upsetting anyone else who had the misfortune to spend their day waiting for repairs. Having had a couple of big days, back-to-back, (the airport, the service shop) I fed our son at noon and let him have some free time in the crib. He stirred, occasionally cried but in general, he enjoyed the safety of his bed. The 3:00 p.m. feeding happened as expected and I again decided it was best to let him have free time. He began to get upset by 5:00 p.m. and he gave me a look that said to me “please swaddle me up and put me to bed”; I obliged and he fell asleep immediately. He slept until mom got home at 7:00 p.m. We both played with lil’ man, after the feeding. Mom suggested trying out the Bumbo chair – a chair designed to help infants sit up. We did and he sat like a king in a recliner. We were both so very proud. As the feeding/sleeping schedule had been pushed back some, we decided to let him sleep. We caught up from her travels and discussed the meaning of life and what happens after death; she is upset about losing her grandfather. Having a scientist’s perspective, I could not offer her much comfort but she knew that when she married me saying I resemble the main character in the show ‘Doc Martin’ and also the main character ‘Sheldon’ in ‘The Big Bang Theory'. I guess she finds some comfort in my consistency at least. I suggested we try to celebrate the life he lived and not worry about the after part for now. We discussed a curious story about a boy who claims to be reincarnated and who had a story that was difficult to dispute. Death is still a great mystery but we have, as a society, come up with many routes to find some explanation of the next journey and possibly comfort in the passing of life. She finally lay down to sleep, exhausted from her travels and emotional ordeal.

Day 14 –

Last night went pretty well! I am pretty sure lil’ man slept from 10:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. It could be that I slept through the 1:00 a.m. touch-up (or maybe I just don’t remember doing it) but that is a pretty good run. At 3:00 a.m. he required a bit of food. At 6:00 a.m. he ate nine ounces – three ounces more than normal. Mom called and let me know her flight was cancelled and she will now be getting home after dinnertime tonight. Not a big deal except that the entire day of care again falls on my shoulders and (when she gets home) we will not have much alone time before the workweek starts again. My older brother plans to visit today and I may see if my parents would like to visit around noon – they had planned on making us dinner tonight. More coffee, more coffee, more coffee.

There is light at the end of this marathon, baby watching session…or is there. Mom was scheduled to come home at noontime; her flight was canceled. Fortunately, she was able to get a later flight on the same day. This change was devastating to me. I had planned on having her home and getting some down time and then dinner with my parents. The flight change set the stage for a rushed pickup and quick goodnight. My stress levels went through the roof. My parents came (instead) for a light lunch and to let grandpa J. have some time with lil’ man. My stresses were evident to my parents as I drank more coffee at lunchtime. They knew well, I was due for a break. They left and we readied ourselves to pick up mom at the airport. We met her at the gate, mom with tears in her eyes. She had missed him / us very much and so had we. We came home and mom spent some time reacquainting with our son; it was wonderful to watch. Mom revealed some wonderful birthday gifts she picked up for me – white golf pants and golf shoes –maybe I can finally win a round! Off to bed now for all of us, it was 9:00 p.m.

Day 13

Today is my birthday. The first present of the day was a midnight wakeup call from lil’ man. I tended to him and he went back to sleep. At 1:30 a.m., he woke again. This time, I decided I would not address him. I waited and he did calm himself back to sleep after about 30 minutes; we may be getting somewhere with the no-sleep nights. This would be the best present ever! He woke at 3:00 a.m. and required food but he went back to sleep, without issue. I woke at 5:45 a.m. – I had slept in! At 6:00 a.m. he was ready for another meal. He went back to sleep, after a bit of babbling. My mom is coming today and bringing a birthday breakfast. I am looking forward to the visit and possibly a chance to have a few minutes of alone time, with her keeping watch.

My mother came over for the 9:00 a.m. feeding and asked if she could have the honor of performing the feeding. I happily obliged. She brought several birthday goodies for me to enjoy: a very nice card, brownies, a favorite breakfast item and, most importantly – a replacement Danish for the one previously consumed by the dog. It is shaping up to be a nice day. She offered to watch lil’ man so I could go do some quick shopping. After a quick trip to the store, my nerves were frayed from the anxiety of our son being left alone. He was, of course, just fine. As a matter of fact, he had not made a sound and my mother did not have to do anything. She stayed on for the noon feeding and again performed the duty. With her being there, it opened up the opportunity for me to do some more work on a deck railing project that needed to be completed; plus it gave me a bit of time for a birthday beer! She left after he went back down to sleep. It is worth noting, early on in our conversations, she mentioned how much harder this must be for me than it was for her. My first child came when I was already twice her age of when she had her first. She is right. Although I am youthful for my age, it is a challenge to find the energy each day. One look at our son though and it really does not matter; he is worth it. The evening feedings went well. Lil’ man was tired from grandma’s visit. At the 9:00 p.m. feeding he lay awake for about a half-hour, releasing farts that sounded like those from a grown man.

Day 12 -

I have been awakened, every ½ hour, since 12:30 a.m. this morning. It was so bad that our trusty, opportunistic, bed-hog dogs resigned to the fact that not even they would find comfort lying in our big bed. I am unsure of the reasons for the discomfort but at 3:45 a.m. I finally decided to give up; lil’ man will have to cry it out. And he did, for another one hour and fifteen minutes. I got up at the regular 5:00 a.m. spot and replaced the Binky; all calm was again restored. The 6:00 a.m. feeding was a passively eaten meal – he had been fed, changed and re-Binky’d all through the night. It is my guess that he is missing mom’s gentle touch; she normally carries out the evening touch-ups. Now it is time for a large pot of coffee.

Mom called early this morning and we spoke about how things were going, on both ends. Her family was grieving but they were receiving a lot of support from friends. She was already exhausted, with the funeral still to come today. She asked about our son and I lied, everything was going great…no problems. I did not want to worry her about anything past what she was already dealing with in her family. As expected, our lil’ man was tired for the 9:00 a.m. feeding; he went back to sleep almost immediately. At the noon feeding, I noticed what I interpreted as physical anxiety. Lil’ man repeatedly swung his arms up and down, hitting his legs and face. I suspected he is beginning to have enough strength to begin some physical play and is frustrated with simply laying and being held. I lay him on our bed, tummy side, and waited for the results. He has already shown he can roll over but that is the greatest accomplishment to-date. He lay there, crying, without attempting to roll over. Maybe my guess was wrong. I picked him up and back to bed he went. At the 3:00 feeding, I woke him and was greeted with a great smile; something good had happened. I held him in my lap, by the waist and noticed he was leaning backwards, beyond the support of my hands. Normally, he would be stuck in this position but Lil’ man righted himself and continued on exploring the room with his eyes – he was exercising his back! He remained calm through the moment and I lay him back down for rest. This is my cue to continue with the physical aspects of rearing and growth. The rest of the day expired in relative calm. Things had gone so well, I had forgotten about my sleepless night and stayed up a little later than normal to catch a television show. I was in bed by 10:00 p.m.