Day 12 -

I have been awakened, every ½ hour, since 12:30 a.m. this morning. It was so bad that our trusty, opportunistic, bed-hog dogs resigned to the fact that not even they would find comfort lying in our big bed. I am unsure of the reasons for the discomfort but at 3:45 a.m. I finally decided to give up; lil’ man will have to cry it out. And he did, for another one hour and fifteen minutes. I got up at the regular 5:00 a.m. spot and replaced the Binky; all calm was again restored. The 6:00 a.m. feeding was a passively eaten meal – he had been fed, changed and re-Binky’d all through the night. It is my guess that he is missing mom’s gentle touch; she normally carries out the evening touch-ups. Now it is time for a large pot of coffee.

Mom called early this morning and we spoke about how things were going, on both ends. Her family was grieving but they were receiving a lot of support from friends. She was already exhausted, with the funeral still to come today. She asked about our son and I lied, everything was going great…no problems. I did not want to worry her about anything past what she was already dealing with in her family. As expected, our lil’ man was tired for the 9:00 a.m. feeding; he went back to sleep almost immediately. At the noon feeding, I noticed what I interpreted as physical anxiety. Lil’ man repeatedly swung his arms up and down, hitting his legs and face. I suspected he is beginning to have enough strength to begin some physical play and is frustrated with simply laying and being held. I lay him on our bed, tummy side, and waited for the results. He has already shown he can roll over but that is the greatest accomplishment to-date. He lay there, crying, without attempting to roll over. Maybe my guess was wrong. I picked him up and back to bed he went. At the 3:00 feeding, I woke him and was greeted with a great smile; something good had happened. I held him in my lap, by the waist and noticed he was leaning backwards, beyond the support of my hands. Normally, he would be stuck in this position but Lil’ man righted himself and continued on exploring the room with his eyes – he was exercising his back! He remained calm through the moment and I lay him back down for rest. This is my cue to continue with the physical aspects of rearing and growth. The rest of the day expired in relative calm. Things had gone so well, I had forgotten about my sleepless night and stayed up a little later than normal to catch a television show. I was in bed by 10:00 p.m.