Day five –

Today mom is going back to work and I am on my own again. At 5:30 a.m., I have already performed one Binky check (1:30 a.m.), one diaper change/feeding (3:00 a.m.) and one touch-and-go (4:00 a.m.) and another at 4:30 a.m., the dogs have been let out, coffee made and baby food for the day has been started. Today I may well find a time to take a nap.

The 9:00 a.m. feeding went off on time, followed by some cooing and babbling from our lil’ man. Afterwards, I decided to watch some television but found that I could not really sit still long enough to enjoy any programming. I was restless, exhausted and disoriented. At noon, he woke slightly early and I attempted to settle him down without having any success. I noticed he was warm and a little sweaty. Panic started to set in, was he sick? I dressed him in long sleeve pajamas and took him outside into the cool days we are still having. He did calm down and I noticed he took several very deep breaths. It seems that having been cooped up in the house and possibly the dust from the dogs bringing in mud had started to get him congested. He warmed his toes in the sun and enjoyed the fresh air. Crisis adverted. I took him in to change and feed only to finally meet the end of a record that I had was quite proud of – I had not been peed on up to this very point. That all changed today, twice. The diaper was removed and then, surprise, a fountain of urine came streaming out, onto the baby, the wall, my arms. This was great news to my wife, who resented my ability to dodge this warm bath. My glorious streak ended. He continued to fuss, after the feeding but I wore him down with some tummy time. I had to take a nap now and I fell asleep without any issue. At 2:45 I was awoken from a dream about feeding babies; he was on time to wake for the feeding. Although I was disoriented, things progressed normally except for a clogged bottle top that kept food from being received. Once cleared, he was so tired from the day that he practically fell right back asleep. I think we are developing a working routine – 9:00 a.m. feed and talk, 12:00 a.m. feed and tummy time / exercise, 3:00 p.m. individual free time / crib time. I did some more vacuuming and yard work, and began preparing the meal for when my wife came home from work. Tonight we had plans! A friend had a birthday celebration at a local pub. At 5:30, a new game developed. Lil’ man awoke early and I walked in and playfully scolded him to go back to sleep. He smiled and snuggled back in. This carried on for the next 30 minutes – I leave the room, he cries, I return and scold, he smiles and again I leave the room, ect…. Mom returned from work and we quickly ate our meals with some background complaining from the baby room. We fed lil’ man, packed the needed supplies and headed to Oma Mamu’s to let her tend to him while we went out. On dropping him off, Oma Mamu commented on the importance of myself getting in conversation with adults, through the days ahead. Apparently, I am behaving more erratic and excitable than normal and it is showing. I agreed and decided to plan on a weekly visit to my parents, who live in town. With the baby asleep, we departed. The night went well, with friend’s asking how things were proceeding for us. A fellow, who also had stayed home with his infant, relished in my story of the feeding dream – he had also dreams like that in his experience as a stay-at-home dad. He understood the lack of conversation point and stated that after three months, he was insane within himself, that he loved his daughter but that he could no longer stand to stay at home. He made a great suggestion to find a local at-home dad group, something I intend to do. It is good to have a brother-in-arms, with some real-life experience, for this adventure. Also worn and frayed, mom chugged the last of my beer and we headed to pick up our lil’ man. We gave him a quick feed at Oma Mamu’s and both of us were surprised to find he slept through the stay, great! We got him home to bed and we followed shortly after. It was almost midnight.